My Everything
by MustBeDreaming13
Summary: Based of the song "Everything" by Lifehouse...need I say more? T just in case.


I bit my lip as the tears rolled freely down my cheeks. I watched as one tear found its way to the tip of my nose, hanging, dangling; holding on for dear life. I squeezed my eyes shut, tight, triggering more tears to flow, causing the tiny water droplet on my nose to fall to the ground, hitting it silently. But to me it was the loudest sound at this moment, echoing through my body, causing my hallow heart to shake with fear. I buried my head in my already curled up knees, feeling the warmth of the sun rising in the morning sky shine down on the back of my neck, offering to calm me, but instead just making me want to crawl into the darkness deeper and deeper. How could it hurt to love someone so much? How could I love someone who would never, could never, love me back? I was never good enough for him. I knew that deep down in the recesses of my heart, but I always hoped, wished, for some miracle to happen. For the utter, disgusting truth to turn into some wonderful, beautiful lie, telling me I was wrong. But I'm never wrong. How lucky am I?

But to me, he's like an angel, pulling me out of the blunt blackness of the night, showing me the discrete yet wonderfully magical light of the day. He keeps me moving, wanting…hoping that he will love me in return. But no, I am Sam Puckett, who will never, is not supposed to be, loved back. Here's to being independent, un-fearful, blunt and crazy Sam Puckett who never let anyone in. Congratulations, you won the award for being the loneliest person on the face of the earth. I hope you're happy now.

But I need him to find me. I need him to tell me everything's okay. He's my shining angel, the hope that keeps me trusting, believing miracles might actually, possibly happen.

I licked my lips with a harsh resistance to let the song escape from my lips again, that one song that explains everything. I was never really a singer, but I sang anyway, because that's me. I don't care about my flaws; I embrace them. I squeezed my eyes shut harder, shutting out the world, as if that would make it seem _I _wasn't the person singing, but some other pathetic soul wanting, aching, to be loved in return.

" _Find me here  
And speak to me…"_

I stopped, swallowing the lump rising in my throat. I can't do this to myself, I thought. But I had to let the lyrics out in the open. They were swelling in my small heart as if it would burst with so much passion it would hurt.

"_I want to feel you  
I need to hear you  
You are the light  
That's leading me to the place  
Where I find peace again…"_

I caught myself, stopping abruptly. My breathing grew heavy and shaky as I dug my nails deep into my knees. I heard the person coming before I stopped, but I couldn't help myself from letting the soothing lines flow from my mouth. And I knew it was him too. It was _always _him. I dared myself not to open my eyes because then I knew how I would feel when I saw him, looking at me with those eyes, concern filling them no doubt. I would feel helpless and not strong like the Sam Puckett _I_ knew so well. But I opened my weary eyes anyway, them not accepting the dare and going straight for the truth that stood right there, in front of me. I gazed up at him and watched him carefully, cautiously, wondering what he would say. What he would think. I studied him. I studied him studying _me_. I searched his eyes, looking for signs of some emotion. Concern was in there, point blank. But there was also love. And passion, no doubt that was in there. But then there was something else. Some want of some sort, like a deep, longing desire. I quickly turned my eyes away from him and looked out at the bustling city of Seattle below. You could take a guess as to where I was, but I rather not say. It hurt too much to re-call the days of foolish, childhood bliss and the hearts that once beat in tandem as those living souls shared their very first kiss; so quick, so innocent, so right…yet all so wrong.

I did not look at him as he sat down beside me even though I could feel his very presence everywhere I went.

"Hey…hey, look at me," he spoke softly.

I shook my head, refusing to do so. I guess he decided then if I couldn't turn my head to look at him, he could do all he wished by looking at me. He removed a stray curl that had fallen in my face. Then he stroked his fingers against my cheek and I closed my eyes, savoring his touch. Why did he do this to me, making me feel so weak and helpless, like I actually needed him? _But you do_, a voice whispered in the back of my head. I sighed, knowing it was right. He was all I needed, all I wanted. If only I could tell him so.

"What's the matter?"

Like I'm going to tell you, I thought.

"Don't want to say?"

I shifted my gaze from the street below to him, pleading him with my eyes just to stop and leave me be.

"Well, I think I know what's bothering you."

I raised my right eyebrow, challenging him. There is no way he knew what I felt at this very moment or all the time for that matter.

"You're in love with me."

Okay, so maybe he did know. I switched my eyes back to the scenery below, hoping that the world would just spin a little faster, thrusting me forward in time so I wouldn't have to deal with the pain his words were going to bring me.

I heard him let out a long sigh. "But…" He paused, waiting for my reaction. I just continued to gaze, dream, wish…anything that would distract me from the inevitable that was about to happen. Anything can go along with a "but"…always something bad. Something that means "oh, well, this is what's happening but…" or "this is the good part about it but…" this is what's going to go wrong. All horribly wrong. "But…" he continued, "I'm in love with you too."

I felt a wave of shock, fear, and hope flow through my body all at the same time. Was this a joke? No, it couldn't be, what he had in his eyes earlier was the truth shining from them. But why…how? I'm _always_ right. He couldn't love me, it was obvious. We were polar opposites. The universe didn't let people like _us_ be together. And facts are facts. There are no exceptions. I turned my head, staring up at him, tears welling in my eyes.

"You're lying," I dead-panned.

He smiled a genuine smile and then did the un-thinkable. He kissed me. Not like the first one. No, not at all. He kissed me with more passion then I had ever felt or ever comprehended. He parted my lips with his tongue, exploring my mouth, as I did the same. My hands traveled up his back, then neck, then head, grabbing handfuls of his hair, pulling him deeper into the kiss. His kiss traveled down to my chin and then neck, placing small kisses there. I gasped, a tear escaping from my eye from all the passion and confusion I was feeling. He kissed my cheek, wiping away, wishing away my tears. I pulled away, gazing into his eyes, searching them with wonder filling my own.

"Now you believe me?" he chuckled, his voice shaky, still trying to catch his breath.

"More than anything."

Then I kissed him again and again and again, never wanting this to end. After a while, we sat down on the fire escape, me sitting on his lap, his arms wrapped around me.

"I can't believe you love me," I stated in amazement.

"Sam…I don't just love you."

I turned around, giving him a quizzical look. He chuckled and then kissed the top of my head before whispering in my ear, "You're my everything."

And as he was to me...as he was to me.


End file.
